the last word? an impossible promise from our good friend, pelle. the blogopalooza went on and on and on after tim's piece, revealing, incidentally, how much better threads are formatted here than at zaadz. the last word pretty much became the lost word. fortunately, it has made it into the blogs at kenwilber.com (Guest Blog: The Last Word (Timothy Melody) June 04, 2007 08:00).

even though he only had a short time to put it together, it strikes me as a work of art, something i want to just stand back from and contemplate for awhile--something i want to experience. it's something we can all relate to.

i was caught up immediately by his first memory: Happy [first] Birthday. it reminded me in many telling ways of my own first memory, my dad appearing in the doorway from the kitchen (yeah! there used to be doors between the living room and kitchen), his face beaming, and saying something about a baby sister. i was three-and-a-half by then, a little slower in developing than tim, but i don't have any problem with that--wouldn't do me any good, anyway, if i did.

i guess you could call that a horse memory. afterall, horses are capable of images, and it's not much more than an image. but it's what holds that image together that intrigues me: my dad's obvious happiness. i seem to have already gotten over the oedipal hump, relinquished whatever pretensions i may have had for sole propietership of my mom, and identified with my dad. if so, i was capable of much more than images, even if my memory wasn't. i could go into this much more, but then i would be taking the last word from tim yet again.

i didn't have a realization of 'This' anything like tim's. it's really a joy to read. again, there's no point beating up on myself, but i effectively closed myself off to This--was determined that i had more important things to do. all the trouble we can go to to deny what always already is!

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Oh Ralph - I just sat here for over an hour writing a gigantic post and at the last minute before I posted, after editing it and everything, there was a power outage. And -it's gone. Crap. Just have to let it go. There is no way I could write it all over again. I guess we'll just have to see how and with what time unfolds. Darn it.

thanks for posting this, anyway. I'll try and come back and talk more later.

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"With whom or with what are you in communion at this moment?"
. . ."I?" he replied, almost mechanically. "Why not with anyone or anything."
"You must be a marvel . . . if you are able to continue in that state for long."
-Constantin Stanislavsky

tim that reminds me of when u were telling ken last saturday about the the long post u typed up on the dr phil website .. and they only accept a limited # of words

u are such a good writer .. maybe use a word program and save after every few sentences .. that way u won't lose stuff even if there is a power outage

and later u can copy/paste into a post ..  ??

I probably should. Usually there is't a problem and I have learned to copy/paste edit, etc. in Word or something and so if something goes wrong online it's okay. One of the top-of-the-line music programs I use has had an auto-save (up to like every 10 seconds) since it's original version back in the late 80s.

I am convinced that all of my best inspired writing that I will ever do in this lifetime will be lost forever. It's happened a number of times and it's areal practice of letting go. Once -oh!-I spent a half an hour, maybe more on the most inspired paragraph of a speech for a play I was writing, it was Kosmic, it was Spiritual, couldn't even tell you now what it said, I just knew it was fantastic. And then a friend of mine walked in and tripped over the word processor power cord. Slam. Gone. (And it had an autosave function . . . but she tripped over the cord just a little too soon. Only the first few, uninspired, unedited sentances remained. Arrgh!

but like I said, i have become adept at letting it go. (I men, what r u going to do anyway?)

Anyhow, if this conversation gets going I just mightget inspired again.

So thanks for your kind words.

Peace, Tim

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"With whom or with what are you in communion at this moment?"
. . ."I?" he replied, almost mechanically. "Why not with anyone or anything."
"You must be a marvel . . . if you are able to continue in that state for long."
-Constantin Stanislavsky

tim,

did you follow the hoopla aroused by JP's musings on the psychic? i've begun to give more attention to these things the past couple of years. you know. there're all these strange things that happen that we don't yet have a good explanation for, and i'm increasingly feeling that, in fact, they do often make sense on some higher level--i've just got to be very careful about the PTF. like things that happen with computers that should be completely rational, until we realize there's always some human involved in anything that a computer does--and not just humanity: everything.

shoot! before i'm evenly safely ensconced at a turquoise level, everybody is starting to talk about indigo! whenever we began to feel too uppity, it seems we have to be humbled.

ralph

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tim, would a little humor help here?

it looks like, again, you've had the lost word.

ralph :)

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