in a recent clip, i heard diane hamilton say liberating negative habits of mind to be free to be available

the way she said the word available (and without stating exactly to what) expanded something inside .. available to the moment .. available to the world .. available to life .. available to just this

then later blissing out in a yoga spinal twist .. i admit that it's the practice itself .. the actual doing .. the means more so than the end .. this indescribable experience of the bodymind (in this case) that is the great motivater

thank u ken wilber for the skillful means .. for the understanding of the languaging with levels

am ready and have started a thread on oprah dot com in the 'a new earth' section of the book club message boards

the thread is called evolution of consciousness

god thy will be done

god our love is the solid golden light

riding the bus to work .. inner wellspring filling brimming overflowing .. look at these human beings riding with me .. wanting to fling arms wide and declare i love u all

but alas being a good little member of society .. i don't

isn't that ironic alanis don't ya think ?

WOW my every cell was rejuvinated last nite .. my entire being has been plugged in and lit up

we saw "shine a light" the marty scorsese imax film on the rolling stones

those guys channel godstuff and transmit it and we are blessed to receive it

the film included some clips of old interviews and in one a very young mick was asked if they will be around much longer and he said: we are set up for another year

in another a very young mick was asked if he can see himself still doing this when he is sixty and without skipping a beat he replied: easily

i'm going to tell u something keith said on the isc library and media discussion forum's "thoughts on thoughts" thread

BTW: they are almost as cool as ken

got sucked into a painful contraction at work today .. ego got all defensive and loud and carried away

later while driving to the raiki/pranic session seeing the contraction get tighter and tighter and not being able to shake it

then as i lay on the table she cleared three blockages .. solar plexus, throat, back of head (during the first two sessions, there were none)

and driving home i remembered something eckhart had said .. whatever it is .. be with THAT

and realized that on the drive there .. i had been actively trying to release the contracted self .. while at the same time condemning it

when all i had to do is be with it .. and i laughed and said what if u wake up and find out that u are a bitch ?

oh u hear it many times in a myriad of ways .. but not until u experience it do u really GET it .. just be with the contracting self and the criticizing mind

and they dissolve

once again we are back to "invite it to tea and watch it run"

stand on one foot for ten seconds (then the other)

thank u god for the blessing of these three beautiful beings who came out of my body and into this wondrous world .. and thank u for mothers everywhere ...

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past few days have been catching up on marianne and the course in miracles on oprah dot com and .. the course consists of many affirmations on peace love light joy forgiveness healing etc

and what is interesting is something eckhart had pointed out .. that in pure presence those things exist without having to do affirmations .. those are natural qualities that exist when we are fully present

so i find myself replacing the word "forgiveness" with "presence" when writing out my notes, like:

presence is the only sane response (and) what could u ever want that presence could not give ?

*

marianne said something that really got to me: available people are the ones who are really dangerous .. because they confront us with the possibilty of real intimacy

y'know how the certral nervous system (cns) runs down the spine connecting the brain with the rest of the body ?

well gently wringing it out once in a while clears out all the debris like some kind of magic

u wring out your cns using three parts of your body .. the three major bulks of weight

skull .. ribcage .. bony pelvic girdle (pelvis)

allow pelvis to be heavy and drop towards the ground .. place both hands at top of both buttocks and leave them there to remind pelvis to stay facing forward

ribcage floats up like a balloon and turns gently to the side .. lifting turning .. keeping pelvis facing forward

leaving right hand where it is .. pelvis facing forward .. ribs floating up and to the side (shoulder blades resting on back of ribcage) .. place left hand on right shoulder to remind ribs to keep floating up and to the right

skull floats up like a balloon and turns gently to the left

actively gently wringing .. heavy pelvis facing forward .. ribs floating up and to the right .. head floating up and to the left

.. hands in place gently directing .. there is something happening within the snc that really really appreciates it .. cells laughing yes thanks !

this is another twenty second mindbody practice