why do i choose this ordinary woman to inhabit ? there are so many who are so much more accomplished, have done so much more for the world ? why do i not inhabit one of them ?

why this fairy with an office job who's favorite passtime is moving meditation ? why this woman who is so in love with god and with her teachers who talk about god ? why not choose one of the teachers to inhabit ?

why this selfobject who sees herself as insignificant in this dimension where so many greater humans exist ?

ask big mind and u get a big smile that fills the entire kosmos .. ask big heart and u get a special tender fondness and u are shown the millions upon millions less fortunate .. natural disaster torn .. war torn .. hunger torn

the selfobject nothing but privileged

why has she, and the many as privileged as her, contributed so little to the world ?

there is pain in this shame

in the morning sitting, with serene smile she basked in the radiant glow of everlove

and i rested in her

regarding discussions with blue et al .. am reminded about perspectives .. i should be able to take their perspective or i'm not very integral am i ?

and oh yes ! definately well-developed in the leo line

ROAR purrrrrrrrr

last nite i dreamt that i took ken's copy of eye of spirit off his shelf and started hilighting various passages with my pink pen and then suddenly realized it wasn't my copy but his and that i had no right to write in someone else's book

then realized he was sitting right there beside me and i looked up feeling guilty and he said it's okay keep doing it

goodbye 2006

what was the best part for me ? hands down october 7th

lost in the dream within the dream . . .

just before starting the moving meditation comes the sudden impulse to check what's new at isc and seeing it's sally doing a meditation on 'dances like mind' click on it and begin moving while listening .. playing it three times

as she talks about the sensation of the breath in the belly .. of the belly touching the breath

i suddenly sense how it is the breath that initiates the dancing of my arms and legs and hips .. it is the breath that is dancing ..

d a n c i n g    b r e a t h 

i don't know what anything is anymore and it doesn't even matter

sitting at the centre of the long seat at the very back of the crowded bus with my nose in roger walsh's 'essential spirituality'

"u can't be relaxed and fearful at the same time .. the mind and the body are so closely linked that to change one is to change the other

to the extent u can relax, thru breathing, yoga or any other method, fear dissolves"

pausing to absorb this tasty morsel of deep wisdom .. looking up to find that the person to the left of me has her nose in a book ..  as does the person to the right of me .. as does the one across from us to the left .. as does the one across from us to the right

and it's too funny .. a library on wheels taking us home at the end of the day

and the groupie creams her heartmind over the way he talks

what fun this 'exercise 10: surrounded by saints' from roger's essential spirituality

everyone i come in contact with is a buddha or christ .. this celestial light which eminates from us all is growing brighter by the moment

or shall i say the awareness of it is

walking thru the mall doing exercise ten surrounded by saints .. and suddenly it's too funny .. it's a big white cloud with various shapes and sizes and postures and speeds of angels going in all directions

then in an instant all the innocence becomes boring .. as individual motives arise

and it's manjushri's turn .. discriminating wisdom brilliantly arising from the ground of equality consciousness