So there will be times, and it is very occasional and sporatical, where something strange happpens. As the example, today I was talking on the phone to my mom about random school things and then all of a sudden I go blank and it feels like this "opening" and it's only for a brief moment because I retract right away from it... But i always wonder what would happen if I went "into" this "opening". I wonder if it is more "psychotic" behavior. Or an actual spirutal opening.

I just don't know because it is so random and feels like I could go into permanent insanity if I entered this space.

can anyone else relate in any way?

is it as if the random school things and the telephone conversation don't matter for he moment and you experience a temporary amnesia and disorientation from the situation, does it feel like you are picking up th story where you left off returning, back from the "opening"?  i get something like i described to you just then.

---

the fabric begins to tear
and i don't really care

ya like wandering out of reality and then right back again really quick

something like that ;)  its elusive to me aswell

it appears to come randomly to me aswell maybe the more could be learned from being more interested in what the conditions leading there are. sleep depravation might be helpful keep the borderline smudged.

---

the fabric begins to tear
and i don't really care

ya, i get good sleep though. I'm curious what would happen if I let myself go fully into that place, feels a little scary and insane. (and I dont need insanity again) But good advice, I'm gonna try to focus on what leads right up to it.