and that's exactly what i then hear ken talking about at the end of the current feature on dreaming and IAMness

about what love is and what suffering is

she doesn't come to chapel and the tea table on sundays anymore but stays in her room

i go to see her and she lays talking in her sleep and i look out the window to the snow melting on the grounds

she is dissolving like the snow and i am dissolving like her

oh god that's exactly how u do it to me .. oh sigh that utter saturation of blue in the sky .. oh my . . .

sifting for the most shimmering gems in marianne and the course .. she says relationships are always opportunities to expand our hearts and become more deeply loving

bang on

smuggly thought i'd go to my grave without reading eckhart's the power of now .. been there done that .. but after reading a new earth .. well here i am . . . 

and pleasantly surprised .. and check this out !

like a cat watching the hole in the wall waiting for the mouse to come out .. watch your mind to see what the next thought will be

interesting slant to approach it with a bring-it-on-attitude .. kind of like the invite-it-to-tea-and-watch-it-run thing

never quite thought of using that approach with "thoughts"

THAT will clear your head

she woke up this morning saying i don't love u anymore .. not like that anyway

look oh lila
a part of her is drifting away
into the ocean from the bay

oh lila lila
a part of her leaves me today
even tho i begged her to stay

and oh lila
you'd be the first to say
doesn't matter just a play

laugh oh lila
at yesterday
at how she had loved anyway

tears flow as i stand and wave
and she is gone and i will stay

i love the way the simple rewording of a concept sheds fresh awareness on it

as when adyashanti said .. the awareness of the presence of silence

and when eckhart said .. beauty arises in the presence of your stillness

even tho they are only signposts .. i love words . . .

i walk into her room and she is dozing in her chair .. the most beautiful angelic music playing .. and thank u god she opens her eyes

and we both recognize the opportunity to heal

thank u god thank u for the blessing .. i lean towards her and we grasp each other's hands .. two hands in two hands .. and beam into each other's beings

on the line between the realms

u can watch it and u can understand it when well-intentioned pluralism challenges discriminating wisdom

what was it that tore away .. then drifted off .. and died in me ? it was she who wants

and i couldn't stop her from leaving .. as if i didn't want to give up wanting

and it's so funny .. because there is nothing to want .. for it happens organically .. giving receiving .. like exhaling inhaling